Speechless
by ohxasphyxiationx
Summary: When night came and he realized that he was utterly and painfully alone, he found that he had no words.


**I felt like angsting. Sue me.**

**All right, you guys. I'm tired of sitting around and being idle, and I was a bit inspired, so I decided to write a short angsty oneshot. I **_**know**_** I have a lot of other things I could be working on, and a lot of other projects to finish, but for the moment those are on **_**hiatus**_** until I decide otherwise. I'm a little disappointed in myself, but I can't force it. I was surprised inspiration stuck around long enough for me to get this out. Unbeta'd, so I apologize if it's complete and utter crap. I don't own, don't sue, etc., so please, enjoy.**

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Pale, shimmering moonlight cast the barest of glows over a still body, blond hair, and fair skin.

How beautiful would those eyes have been, twinkling in the night? Would they have rivaled the stars? Shine brighter, even?

He couldn't bring himself to even contemplate it. What was the point in hoping? Was there ever a reason for him to be so optimistic? Staring at the motionless form before him he found all the proof he'd ever need. It had gotten him nowhere. There had never been a point in hoping, _praying_, for things to get better.

Those eyes stood closed, set in an expressionless face. The body beside him didn't move; not even the slightest twitch. Another reminder that his enthusiasm- his hope- had failed him. Were it not for the steady rise and fall of breathing, and the soft fluttering of a pulse beneath the soft skin of a pale neck, he would have thought he was sitting besides a corpse.

Well, there was that, at least.

When the sun would rise, he'd gather his strength and stand, despite the heavy weight he felt crushing him, and haul the limp body over his shoulders; he'd walk as far as he could until the sun had set and his strength had given out. He'd talk- pointless chitchat about the weather and scenery- trying to coax his companion back to life and into conversation as if nothing had happened. As if they hadn't suffered.

He talked about his home in the small town of Gongaga, of hot summer nights he spent practicing with a wooden sword after everyone had gone to sleep. He often spoke of his mentor Angeal and how he had taken him under his wing, despite his restlessness and carelessness, fondly admitting that Angeal had turned him into the kind of SOLDIER- and person- he had always wanted to be. He mentioned every single town they passed; the deep orange sunsets of Cosmo Canyon, the large tower that was the Gold Saucer, and the soft sand and bright sun of Costa Del Sol.

But when night came and he finally had the opportunity to stop and rest, he said nothing. Instead he stared at the moon that had the gall to shine despite the bleak state he was in, gazed at the stars that shimmered somewhere far off where he couldn't reach, and regarded his traveling companion with tired eyes and an expression that gave nothing away.

He couldn't bring himself to say a word, not like this, when everything was silent and lonely. Not when he found himself in one place, unable to escape the reality of each and everyday. Staring at that face, so innocent, expressionless and terrifyingly young reminded him of all of his failures. Had he been just a little bit stronger, had he fought just a little harder…

Would Cloud be looking at him right now, regarding him like the hero he had always dreamed of being? Would he smile at him, bright and beaming as always, despite everything they'd seen? Would they be speaking right now in the quiet of the night, talking of dreams and promises?

He would never have those answers. It would never be. Instead, he'd wake up come dawn and trudge his way across the planet in search of safety and _home_, begging and praying that Cloud would come to somewhere along the way; that he wouldn't succumb to the poison flowing through him. _Tainting _him.

Despite fear eating away at him, he said nothing. He couldn't voice those fears, in the off chance that Cloud _could_ hear him. He had to be strong, he reminded himself, despite the myriad of painful thoughts that consumed him, swirling around endlessly until, exhausted, he fell into a dreamless, fitful sleep.

When night came and he realized that he was utterly and painfully alone, he found that he had no words.

Just like his silent, broken partner.

For the first time in his life, Zack Fair found himself utterly and entirely speechless.

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**Love it? Hate it? Reviews might help get the imaginary ball rolling, so to speak.**


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